Elena was strongly encouraged to seek counseling by her parents
out of concern of her shifts in mood during the past 2-3 months.
Her parents also recently found a bottle of vodka in her room
and wanted her to be evaluated.
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Elena is a 17-year-old second generation Mexican-American
female. She is currently in her junior year at a local
Catholic high school. She arrived on time for her
appointment and was casually dressed. She made periodic eye
contact with the counselor, but frequently cast her eyes
downward. Her posture throughout the session was somewhat
slumped. Elena appeared a bit anxious, as evidenced by
frequently fidgeting with her hands. Her tone, body
language, and content suggested she was tense and frustrated
throughout the session. Elena responded appropriately to
questions and became increasingly willing to talk as the
session progressed. Insight and level of psychological
mindedness seemed age appropriate.
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Elena’s most pressing concern is feeling conflicted about
her decision to apply to college next fall; although she
wants to go to college, her mother is terminally ill and
expects Elena to stay with and attend to her. Elena
expressed feeling “down” and “pressured” regarding this
decision. She feels guilty that she may fail to measure up
to what a “good daughter” “should” be (i.e., devoted to
family) and as a result may lose her parents’ acceptance and
approval. Elena explained that her family is extremely
important to her and she believes she has an “obligation” to
her parents. Yet she also desires the opportunity to meet
new people and to have new experiences; she expressed
concern that, “If I stay with my family my whole life, I’ll
be a failure… I’ll have wasted all my potential.” Elena
reported trying to explain her perspective to her parents,
but said she felt they were unable to understand her
because, “they hear what they want to hear.” She also stated
that she is receiving conflicting sources of pressure about
the college decision and does not want to “disappoint”
anyone. While her parents want her to stay home, her
boyfriend and friends, whose parents tend to be very
supportive of their applications to college, believe Elena
should leave. Elena described feeling pulled in two
different directions and said she is, “stuck in the middle…
If I make the wrong decision I’ll regret it forever.”
Elena also worries about “bombing in school” because her
schoolwork no longer seems important, she has difficulty
concentrating, and her various sources of worry (i.e., mom,
college, grades) feel like “too much” to handle. Elena
further described feeling “blah” toward working on the
school newspaper, of which she once served as editor. Elena
admitted that she sometimes thinks it would be easier “if I
wasn’t here,” but noted she would not hurt herself by
stating, “I wouldn’t do that to my family, especially my
mom.” She admitted drinking Vodka by herself one night in
the hopes it might make her feel better, but insisted that
her parents “freaked out” over nothing when they found the
bottle; she swore that drugs and alcohol are “not the kind
of thing I do; I’m not really into that.”
Elena’s parents are both Mexican; they immigrated from
Mexico 30 years ago. Most of Elena’s extended family still
lives in Mexico. Elena’s family currently enjoys middle
class standing; her father owns a small business and her
mother worked part-time as a secretary before her illness
prohibited her from working outside the home. Elena is the
youngest of 3 children. Her older brother is in his first
year of college, aspiring to be a dentist. Elena said she is
proud of and close to her brother, yet she feels resentful
that “he got away [from the family], while I have to stay
here.” She described “hating” her older sister who has a
history of drug usage and infrequently visits the family.
Elena reported that her sister “ruined everything for me,”
explaining that their parents unfairly compare Elena to her
sister and “if I make one wrong move… [they think] I’m going
to end up just like her; I’m going to be a total failure and
a bad daughter.”
Elena said she has always been “really close” to her
parents, especially her mother. She expressed gratitude for
the sacrifices they made on her behalf. While she noted
feeling they can be unfairly strict with her, Elena
qualified her concern by saying that, “They are strict
because they care.” Elena described the customs— i.e.,
cooking Mexican food and visiting Mexico— and the
qualities—i.e., rigidly Catholic and close knit— that she
believes makes them a “traditional Mexican-American” family.
She noted that although her father is the primary
breadwinner, her mother has the “real power” in the family
with regard to making decisions.
Elena does not speak Spanish; her parents had a “hard time”
when they came to the US and, not wanting their children to
experience similar anti-immigrant discrimination, refused to
speak Spanish to them. Elena said that although her parents
have learned English, she sometimes wonders whether not
communicating in a shared native language hinders their
ability to understand one another. She recalled an incident
when she was younger: she asked her mother to pick her up
from a friend’s home at a certain hour; her mother
misunderstood her directions and arrived 6 hours late. Elena
recalled feeling abandoned by, angry at, and ashamed of her
mother. Elena reportedly also feeling that her parents don’t
“get” that American youths are traditionally afforded more
independence and freedom than Mexican youths.
Elena’s mother’s illness has greatly impacted the family.
Although her mother may live 10-15 more years, her imminent
death and compromised physical state have cast a shadow upon
the family. Elena stated that her mother needs a good deal
of help. She apparently feels conflicted in that she wants
to provide this help yet is angry in being the only child
expected to care for her.
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Elena reported a supportive circle of friends, but
admitted feeling that her friends ”don’t listen to me.” She
explained that her friends, like most students in her high
school, are white European Americans and she feels they
“don’t want to hear about how my family works” differently
from theirs. She noted that some friends have recently
expressed concern that she has started acting “like I don’t
care anymore.” However, Elena doesn’t feel she can really
talk to her friends about her problems. She experiences
their concern that she be allowed to go to college as yet
another source of pressure. Elena’s boyfriend of 5 months is
also white. Elena said their relationship has recently been
strained by her indecision over college. She described him
as “inconsiderate” and as unfairly judging her parents to be
“stupid and ignorant” regarding their stance on Elena’s
future, rather than they considering that they simply “think
differently.”
Elena has no history of previous treatment for an
emotional problem. She generally perceives her friends and
family as supportive, yet expressed disbelief that anyone
really understands her. When probed for coping strategies,
she noted that writing in her journal, taking walks, and
spending time alone sometimes helps to ease her feeling that
“people are always on my back.” She denied regular use of
alcohol, but admitted that her recent experimentation with
Vodka somewhat helped her to relax. To cope with her
mother’s illness, Elena said that her family relied largely
on religion and family solidarity.
Academically, Elena reported she has traditionally done
well, particularly in English. She expressed interest in
studying journalism because she is intrigued by people’s
stories and unique cultural experiences. Elena said she
thinks her parents are supportive of her education, but
believe that “family comes first.”
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