Elena was strongly encouraged to seek counseling by her parents
out of concern of her shifts in mood during the past 2-3 months.
Her parents also recently found a bottle of vodka in her room
and wanted her to be evaluated.
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Elena is a 17-year-old second generation Mexican-American
female. She is currently in her junior year at a local Catholic
high school. She arrived on time for her appointment and was
casually dressed. She made periodic eye contact with the
counselor, but frequently cast her eyes downward. Her posture
throughout the session was somewhat slumped. Elena appeared a
bit anxious, as evidenced by frequently fidgeting with her
hands. Her tone, body language, and content suggested she was
tense and frustrated throughout the session. Elena responded
appropriately to questions and became increasingly willing to
talk as the session progressed. Insight and level of
psychological mindedness seemed age appropriate.
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Elena’s most pressing concern is feeling conflicted about her
decision to apply to college next fall; although she wants to go
to college, her mother is terminally ill and expects Elena to
stay with and attend to her. Elena expressed feeling “down” and
“pressured” regarding this decision. She feels guilty that she
may fail to measure up to what a “good daughter” “should” be
(i.e., devoted to family) and as a result may lose her parents’
acceptance and approval. Elena explained that her family is
extremely important to her and she believes she has an
“obligation” to her parents. Yet she also desires the
opportunity to meet new people and to have new experiences; she
expressed concern that, “If I stay with my family my whole life,
I’ll be a failure… I’ll have wasted all my potential.” Elena
reported trying to explain her perspective to her parents, but
said she felt they were unable to understand her because, “they
hear what they want to hear.” She also stated that she is
receiving conflicting sources of pressure about the college
decision and does not want to “disappoint” anyone. While her
parents want her to stay home, her boyfriend and friends, whose
parents tend to be very supportive of their applications to
college, believe Elena should leave. Elena described feeling
pulled in two different directions and said she is, “stuck in
the middle… If I make the wrong decision I’ll regret it
forever.”
Elena also worries about “bombing in school” because her
schoolwork no longer seems important, she has difficulty
concentrating, and her various sources of worry (i.e., mom,
college, grades) feel like “too much” to handle. Elena further
described feeling “blah” toward working on the school newspaper,
of which she once served as editor. Elena admitted that she
sometimes thinks it would be easier “if I wasn’t here,” but
noted she would not hurt herself by stating, “I wouldn’t do that
to my family, especially my mom.” She admitted drinking Vodka by
herself one night in the hopes it might make her feel better,
but insisted that her parents “freaked out” over nothing when
they found the bottle; she swore that drugs and alcohol are “not
the kind of thing I do; I’m not really into that.”
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Elena’s parents are both Mexican; they immigrated from Mexico
30 years ago. Most of Elena’s extended family still lives in
Mexico. Elena’s family currently enjoys middle class standing;
her father owns a small business and her mother worked
part-time as a secretary before her illness prohibited her
from working outside the home. Elena is the youngest of 3
children. Her older brother is in his first year of college,
aspiring to be a dentist. Elena said she is proud of and close
to her brother, yet she feels resentful that “he got away
[from the family], while I have to stay here.” She described
“hating” her older sister who has a history of drug usage and
infrequently visits the family. Elena reported that her sister
“ruined everything for me,” explaining that their parents
unfairly compare Elena to her sister and “if I make one wrong
move… [they think] I’m going to end up just like her; I’m
going to be a total failure and a bad daughter.”
Elena said she has always been “really close” to her parents,
especially her mother. She expressed gratitude for the
sacrifices they made on her behalf. While she noted feeling
they can be unfairly strict with her, Elena qualified her
concern by saying that, “They are strict because they care.”
Elena described the customs— i.e., cooking Mexican food and
visiting Mexico— and the qualities—i.e., rigidly Catholic and
close knit— that she believes makes them a “traditional
Mexican-American” family. She noted that although her father
is the primary breadwinner, her mother has the “real power” in
the family with regard to making decisions.
Elena does not speak Spanish; her parents had a “hard time”
when they came to the US and, not wanting their children to
experience similar anti-immigrant discrimination, refused to
speak Spanish to them. Elena said that although her parents
have learned English, she sometimes wonders whether not
communicating in a shared native language hinders their
ability to understand one another. She recalled an incident
when she was younger: she asked her mother to pick her up from
a friend’s home at a certain hour; her mother misunderstood
her directions and arrived 6 hours late. Elena recalled
feeling abandoned by, angry at, and ashamed of her mother.
Elena reportedly also feeling that her parents don’t “get”
that American youths are traditionally afforded more
independence and freedom than Mexican youths.
Elena’s mother’s illness has greatly impacted the family.
Although her mother may live 10-15 more years, her imminent
death and compromised physical state have cast a shadow upon
the family. Elena stated that her mother needs a good deal of
help. She apparently feels conflicted in that she wants to
provide this help yet is angry in being the only child
expected to care for her.
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Elena reported a supportive circle of friends, but
admitted feeling that her friends ”don’t listen to me.” She
explained that her friends, like most students in her high
school, are white European Americans and she feels they “don’t
want to hear about how my family works” differently from
theirs. She noted that some friends have recently expressed
concern that she has started acting “like I don’t care
anymore.” However, Elena doesn’t feel she can really talk to
her friends about her problems. She experiences their concern
that she be allowed to go to college as yet another source of
pressure. Elena’s boyfriend of 5 months is also white. Elena
said their relationship has recently been strained by her
indecision over college. She described him as “inconsiderate”
and as unfairly judging her parents to be “stupid and
ignorant” regarding their stance on Elena’s future, rather
than they considering that they simply “think differently.”
Elena has no history of previous treatment for an
emotional problem. She generally perceives her friends and
family as supportive, yet expressed disbelief that anyone
really understands her. When probed for coping strategies, she
noted that writing in her journal, taking walks, and spending
time alone sometimes helps to ease her feeling that “people
are always on my back.” She denied regular use of alcohol, but
admitted that her recent experimentation with Vodka somewhat
helped her to relax. To cope with her mother’s illness, Elena
said that her family relied largely on religion and family
solidarity.
Academically, Elena reported she has traditionally done
well, particularly in English. She expressed interest in
studying journalism because she is intrigued by people’s
stories and unique cultural experiences. Elena said she thinks
her parents are supportive of her education, but believe that
“family comes first.”
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