A couple's dancing ability tends to resemble their ability to converse. It takes two to make it a success and to make it interesting. If it becomes a one-sided, boring "conversation" the partner will be anxious to finish it and "talk" to someone else. Dancing can also be related to a handshake. Some people have an over=powering one, some always offer a limp hand, and still others seem genuinely pleased to meet you, offering just enough resistance in their hand to make to react accordingly. That is how leading and following must be.
Although the man initiates the "conversation" by setting the rhythm and deciding on what steps and patterns are to be danced, the lady can make these decisions simple or complex by her response. Although she is completely dependent upon her partner, the "conversation or handshake" must be a mutual one of action and reaction. It should now resemble an argument! After dancing, ask yourself: was that a pleasant social experience or an ordeal that you were glad to finish?
LEADING
Forming and maintaining a "frame" with one's arms, shoulders, and upper body is the first requirement for successful leading and following. If the whole body is part of the dnace and dance position is correct, the lady will feel a perfectly natural lead throught the shoulders and chest (frame). Very simply, the man's lead begins with his shoulders and chest, NOT his feet! In addition, firmness of his hand at her back is a guiding force for the upper body that indicates certain distinctive motions such as a hold, sudden change, pivot, or dipping action.
Do's and Don'ts for good leading:
Do maintain a confident basic frame that gives security and support. Don't leave your partner wondering exactly where she should be.
Do move as a complete unit, feet staying parallel. Don't move so loosely that your body parts resemble those of a puppet.
Do gain a knowledge of the cues used to lead specific positions or directions. Don't make your partner "read your mind" about what you want her to do.
Remeber, if you don't lead, she will!
Do have a knowledge of the basic steps and a few simple variations. "Test" a new partner with a few of them before attempting something intricate. Don't attempt to emulate "Fred Astaire" unless your partner is capable of emulating "Ginger Rogers".
Do have a feeling of rhythm, tempo, and style. Don't dance "to your own drummer". It is like partners are conversing about two different topics. Dance to the music being played!
FOLLOWING
Regardless of her partner's skill, the lady must follow him and adapt to any rhythm or style he dances. She should offer an easy resistance without being rigid to allow her partner to maintain a frame. If the lady is too relaxed or too flacid and offers no sisistance, leading becomes very difficult. The lady should always maintain contact with her partner's upper right arm and shoulder and give resistence against his hand at her back.
The lady can make a poor dancer look good or a good dancer look great. She can also cramp his style if she takes too small a step, has poor control of balance, dances with her feet apart, dances at an awkward angle, or leans into her partner.
Do's and Don'ts for good following:
Do keep the man's rhythm, but help him establish it if necessary. Don't become exasperated with a weak dancer. Remember this is a social experience first and a measure of skill second.
Do be alert to partner's leads. Don't be so rigid that his "push" must become a "shove, or so relaxed that you offer no resistance at all.
Do support your own weight. Don't "hang" on him. You will exhaust him and be difficult to lead.
Do reach straight backward from the hip with your feet parallel and close to the floor so your partner may step straight ahead. Don't take short steps with an exaggerated knee bend. You will limit both of your strides and knock knees.
Do learn the basic steps and basic leads. Don't expect every partner to perform every variation that you know. Be satisfied with good rhythm, position, and conversation.
Do try to just respond to your partner's action, rather than anticipating them. DON'T LEAD!